“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”- Jesus Christ- (Luke 10:41-42)
For a lot of singles from B1GSouth who were able to attend the recently concluded TrueLife Retreat held last November 28-December 1 in Rizal Recreation Center; they might find this verse somewhat irrelevant to the overall theme of the retreat which is God's immense love for humanity. But in light to a perspective of a volunteer during the retreat like me, this verse seemed to really fit.
I was part of the Production Team during the retreat. I have done prod-ing before, it's a familiar ground for me. But with this retreat, God has revealed to me a lot of new things which I didn't know before.
A week before the retreat, I was asked if I could join in the advanced party (preparation day), a day before the retreat proper. I was appalled and at the same time privileged that I was tapped for the task, so I said yes to it and committed my day setting up the backdrop for our stage design, brainstorming for the getting-to-know-you-activity, and other retreat stuff. Advanced party had been such a long day but fun-filled considering that I was serving a King with lovable and godly brothers and sisters in Christ as a company. It was indeed tiring---yet a blessing.
Day 1 of the retreat came. I was happy to see my droup mates (family) who actually came to attend the retreat. I was so elated and was so looking forward to our breakout discussions together right after each message. But considering the nature of a prod person, I was always busy. My first breakout activity with my group was half-baked. I had to attend to other needs of the entire retreat that concerns the Production Team. It was an eventful day I must say. My mantra at that time were, "outstretch" and "coolay" (cool and okay). We had to deal with the paradigm shift regarding the program schedule. But praise God, by His grace, He carried us through. Day 1 was a testing water for the facilitators, dgroup leaders, speakers, and volunteers. But God's sufficient grace poured out in each of us.
Although all was well, a part of me was troubled. Truth be told, it felt as if I was not experiencing what I needed to experience because I was too busy prod-ing. It felt as if I've been missing something, and I find it ironic. I decided to join the retreat because I was looking forward to see what I've been missing but then, it seemed that during the retreat, I've been missing a lot. Missing quality time with my dgroup, missing witnessing life's testimonies on how God had transformed their lives; missing the heart of worship; missing my quality time with Him, alone.
During our team huddle, we had a deal that there would be messages and breakout sessions which we would be missing out on the second day because we had to prepare for the True Moments (Recreational Activity) and for the True Bonding (free-flowing-fellowship). However, we could still join the dawn watch and have a personal devotion or quality time with God. I was hesitant to agree upon it. I asked the team if I could join even in the breakout discussion. They were diplomatic and gracious enough, they allowed me to do so, but still, I felt so stuffy inside. I didn't want to miss any of the messages, neither the breakout discussions. But responsibility knocks in, and I had to toe the line.
First night of the retreat came in. I was able to listen to message 2 care of Kuya Francis Gerald Tupaz. I also got to join in the breakout discussion. After that, we had our volunteers' huddle when we would share the things for improvement. I was able to do things at hand at that time but my inner senses were battling in. I was troubled deep down, and I couldn't even process it and break those mixed emotions into pieces. Then I went to the tree house to join the prayer huddle of the prayer team. Before we started interceding for the retreat matters, we had our sharing. Then, at that moment, I just slipped. I poured my heart out to my fellow intercessors. I told them I was feeling like a "Martha" (Martha was a sister of Mary who was busy preparing something to eat for Jesus and His men. See Luke 10:38-42). I was busy with a lot of things that it felt as if I was missing out something. But of course, since I embraced the tasks as a prod-person, I had to be ready for some adjustments.
But by God's grace, He granted me peace. He provided me clarity in the midst of the blurriness I was battling with. My brothers and sisters from the prayer team gave me sound and godly advice. One of the things that etched in my mind, heart, and spirit that they told me was, God looks at the heart. It doesn't matter if I was doing my tasks in prod team and missing some of the retreat activities or messages for as long as my heart is set for the Lord, He will still be honored and glorified.
In Martha's case, she was busy, and at the same time, she was complaining. She only did things because she thought it's important. Sure thing it was, but what she failed to understand is that serving the Lord should give her great joy. The reason why Mary was more favored was that she knew what was more important and that was to seek the Lord.
When I was younger, I thought being busy doing ministerial tasks could make me become like Martha. But God has revealed to me something more than what I understood before. He taught me that I can still glorify Him even in the midst of my huddle moments for as long as my eyes and my heart are fixed on Him. I have realized that I could serve like Martha yet having a heart of Mary. My hands can get busy, but my heart and my spirit must be focused only on the Lord. That's what true service is all about.
There are a lot of things that God had taught me in this retreat. This is just a part of the many revelations He had for me. There's truly something more in TrueLife retreat.
But by God's grace, He granted me peace. He provided me clarity in the midst of the blurriness I was battling with. My brothers and sisters from the prayer team gave me sound and godly advice. One of the things that etched in my mind, heart, and spirit that they told me was, God looks at the heart. It doesn't matter if I was doing my tasks in prod team and missing some of the retreat activities or messages for as long as my heart is set for the Lord, He will still be honored and glorified.
In Martha's case, she was busy, and at the same time, she was complaining. She only did things because she thought it's important. Sure thing it was, but what she failed to understand is that serving the Lord should give her great joy. The reason why Mary was more favored was that she knew what was more important and that was to seek the Lord.
When I was younger, I thought being busy doing ministerial tasks could make me become like Martha. But God has revealed to me something more than what I understood before. He taught me that I can still glorify Him even in the midst of my huddle moments for as long as my eyes and my heart are fixed on Him. I have realized that I could serve like Martha yet having a heart of Mary. My hands can get busy, but my heart and my spirit must be focused only on the Lord. That's what true service is all about.
There are a lot of things that God had taught me in this retreat. This is just a part of the many revelations He had for me. There's truly something more in TrueLife retreat.
